Questions to Ask at a Parent's Doctor Appointment

Appointments are short, and the most important question is often the one nobody remembers to ask until the car ride home. A little preparation changes that.

Before the appointment

1. Agree on your role with your parent. Are you there to take notes, to speak up, or just to listen? Settle it before you're in the exam room.
2. Pick the top two or three concerns. Write them down in order of importance. If time runs short, the biggest one still gets covered.
3. Bring the full medication list, including over-the-counter drugs, vitamins, and supplements, with doses.
4. Note what's changed since the last visit: falls, weight, sleep, appetite, mood, memory, or new symptoms.
5. Bring insurance cards and the names of any other doctors your parent sees.

Questions about a diagnosis or symptom

• What do you think is causing this?
• What else could it be, and how will we know?
• Is this likely to get better, stay the same, or get worse?
• What should we watch for at home, and what would mean calling you or going to the ER?

Questions about tests

• Why is this test needed, and what will it tell us?
• Does it require any preparation?
• When and how will we get the results?
• Will Medicare or their plan cover it? Is there anything we should ask the plan first?

Questions about medications

• What is this medication for, and how long will they need it?
• What side effects should we watch for?
• Does it interact with anything else they take, including supplements?
• Are there any medications on the current list they could stop or reduce?
• Should they take it with food, or at a certain time of day?

Questions before you leave

• What are the next steps, and who is responsible for each one?
• When should the next appointment be?
• Who do we call with questions, and how do we reach someone after hours?
• Can we get a written visit summary, or see it in the patient portal?

Use the free Medicare wellness visit

If your parent has Medicare Part B, they can get a yearly Annual Wellness Visit at no cost when the provider accepts assignment. It includes a medication review, a cognitive assessment to screen for signs of dementia, and a discussion of advance directives. It isn't a full physical, and extra tests done the same day can cost money, so ask what's covered before agreeing to them. If the cognitive screening raises concerns, our guide to first steps after a dementia diagnosis covers what to put in place early.

Can the doctor talk to you?

Under HIPAA, a doctor may share information with a family member involved in your parent's care if your parent agrees or doesn't object, for example when you're in the room together. If your parent is unable to give permission, a provider may share information when it seems to be in their best interest. Providers aren't required to share with family unless you're your parent's legal representative. The simplest approach: have your parent tell the doctor's office that you're involved, and ask whether the practice has its own authorization form for them to sign.

After the appointment

Write down what was said within the hour, while it's fresh: changes, next steps, and the date of the follow-up. Then share it with siblings so nobody gets a garbled version three days later. MyParentHQ's Appointments module keeps upcoming visits visible to the siblings and caregivers you invite, and Care Notes hold what the doctor said, so the next person who takes your parent to an appointment knows what happened at the last one.

This guide is general information, not medical advice.