First Steps After a Parent's Dementia Diagnosis

A dementia diagnosis brings a lot at once. Not everything is urgent, but a few things are much easier to do early, while your parent can still share their wishes and sign documents. This is a list to work through over weeks, not days.

Give yourself a moment

Acceptance doesn't happen all at once, for your parent or for you. It's fine to take time before making big decisions. The planning steps below are about protecting options, not about deciding everything now.

Questions for the doctor

• What type of dementia is this, and how sure are you?
• What changes should we expect over the next year?
• Are there treatments or medications worth considering?
• Should any current medications be reviewed?
• Who else should be on the care team, such as a neurologist, social worker, or occupational therapist?

Legal planning, while your parent can take part

This is the most time-sensitive step. Documents need to be signed while your parent can still understand and make decisions. Talk with an elder law attorney about the documents below. Our guide to a parent's important documents explains each one in more detail.

1. Durable power of attorney for financial and legal matters, which stays in effect if your parent can no longer make decisions.
2. Health care power of attorney (sometimes called a health care proxy), naming who makes medical decisions if your parent can't.
3. Living will or advance directive, describing the care your parent does or doesn't want.
4. A will or trust, if they don't have one or it's out of date.

Rules and forms vary by state. Keep the papers in one secure place and make sure a trusted family member knows where they are.

Finances

• Gather account, insurance, and retirement information in one secure place.
• Set up automatic payments for regular bills.
• Turn on account alerts so a trusted person sees unusual activity.
• Consider freezing your parent's credit with all three credit bureaus to block new accounts.
• Talk openly about scams and how to spot them.

Safety at home

• Medications: add oversight early, such as a pill organizer someone checks.
• Home safety: an occupational or physical therapist can do a home safety evaluation.
• Emergency ID: consider an ID bracelet, or a Medical ID on their phone.
• Firearms: discuss removing them from the home, or storing them locked and unloaded.

Driving

A diagnosis alone doesn't automatically mean your parent must stop driving. Federal driving guidance says the decision should be based on actual driving ability. Ask the doctor about a formal driving evaluation, which occupational therapists and driving rehabilitation specialists can do. Some families write a simple agreement in advance about when it will be time to stop.

Get support, and build a team

Dementia caregiving lasts years, and it isn't a one-person job. Join a caregiver support group, line up backup caregivers in case you're unavailable, and keep a list of specific tasks others can take on.

Keep everyone working from the same picture

Changes in dementia are gradual, and different family members notice different things. MyParentHQ's Care Notes give siblings one shared place to log what they see, so patterns are visible and the doctor gets specifics instead of impressions. The Legal module records where the power of attorney and advance directive are kept and who the attorney is, without storing the documents themselves.

This guide is general information, not medical or legal advice. Talk with your parent's doctor and an elder law attorney in your parent's state.